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Kinda Worried...?

Journal Entry: Tue Aug 6, 2013, 8:39 AM
I think I am, anyways? Um...this might be kind of a long journal entry, so just a little heads up. And no worries; it's got nothing to do with our happy little community! But it does have a lot to do with dreams! So if that's something you're interested in, read on!

Oh, and I'd also like to remind everyone to stay professional, haha. You'll probably know what I mean as I get into this topic. I'd just like for everyone to be mature in their comments, should there be any! ;P

When I was first in high school, I wanted to be a voice actress with all my heart. I was heavily inspired by Vic Mignogna (the golden years of my early pubescence, haha) and wanted to be just like him. I got into acting as best I could, and managed to weasel my way into a play that our school would be holding! We were going to reproduce "FAME The Musical"! And even though I didn't have any speaking parts, I was thankful enough to just be able to get a taste of the stage. I mean, I don't think many people can say that on their first try they got a lead role or anything!
However, close to our first performance, the show was cancelled. We just weren't ready. Between acting coaches, dancing coaches, and singing coaches, everyone wanted something different for the show and it just fell apart. It was hard for everyone to let it go, but we all did finally manage to. Needless to say, it put quite the damper on my experience.

Fast forward a couple of years! Thanks to my absolutely horrid grades, I spent the first two years of my high school life as a freshman. When I did finally make it into my sophomore year I found myself plopped into Art 1. At that point, my teacher was fairly new (I think he started teaching at my school during my second freshman year), so it's not like anyone could say "Oh, you got that teacher? He's terrible!" or "Wow, you're so lucky!" Going into that art class, I had no idea what I was in for. I expected a lackluster teacher, much like the one I had in elementary school, who obviously cared nothing about art and was just there for the paycheck. Boy was I wrong.

Going into the class I was confident in my abilities. Ah, I miss those years! But at the same time, I really didn't have any reason to be confident, haha. There was something there, sure, but it was all just...just really terrible! But once this teacher started...well...teaching us (as they often do), that's when my art took a turn for the better. And more importantly, I realized just what an amazing teacher he was. He quickly became my favorite, and at the end of the semester, I was sure to sign up for Art 2.

If I remember correctly, it was during Art 2 that I became one of those students that made excuses to go and talk to him whenever possible (and there were a lot of us). Sure I feel bad about us all practically harassing the man, but it was for a good reason. Not only was he a good teacher, but he was a good person too. He listened to us when we talked to him, whether it was for something silly or something serious, he always heard us out. Needless to say, this art teacher and I became good friends over just a couple of short years.

Now! Here's where it gets interesting.

Let's head on over to my third art class of my high school "career." During this time, I got bitten by the acting bug once more. I tried out for a school play, yet again, but got a speaking part this time! Of course, that's not saying much, considering this wasn't a musical and pretty much all of the parts were speaking roles (of course). I was excited, and I invited as many people as I could think to!

It was during the course of preparing for the play, however, that something...odd started to happen. In the waking world I was happy about the play, a way I was rather displeased with the experience I was having.

And in my dreams? That was another story.

I started to have recurring dreams somewhere during the middle of the "production" of our play. And my art teacher was in them. Just to clarify, because I know some people are immediately thinking the worst, not those kinds of dreams. In fact, for further clarification, I'll go ahead and tell you what all was happening!

For the first few dreams, it was just normal stuff. He wasn't even really that big of a part of them; just standing around in the background, you know? But towards the end he had a more pronounced role in them. In one dream, I remember showing him a piece of artwork that he was...vaguely impressed with. He barely even responded. So back in the waking world, I began to realize that something was up. I had never had reoccurring dreams before, but having been interested in the topic of dreams before, I knew something was up.

I finally told one of my friends about it, and we had tried to decipher it, but nothing came to mind. I did a little bit of research, and a website told me to consider the subject that the teacher taught. Art. My subconscious was trying to tell me something about art.

It wasn't until I had a dream that the art teacher was closing the door on me that I realized what it was. I wasn't meant to be an actor. I was meant to be an artist! And once I had made the conscious decision to be an artist, to do that as my career, I stopped having those reoccurring dreams. To this day it has been the coolest story I've had to tell, but...I haven't really told anyone because, well... As soon as you say "I've had reoccurring dreams about my art teacher" everyone just kind of assumes the worst, haha! And, of course, I haven't told him yet because... Well he's one of my best friends and I don't want to creep him out! :XD:

Let's get back to the title of the journal, shall we? I'm worried, but I'm not sure if I should be...? Lately I've started having reoccurring dreams with my art teacher in them again. And just to be clear, I still keep in contact with him and visit him from time to time so it's not a sort of "oh man I haven't talked to him in FOREVER WHAT COULD IT MEAN" kind of thing. But I keep having dreams about being in school, not having any of his classes, and trying in vain to go visit him after classes. Last night I had a dream that my fiance and I went to his house for dinner! But each dream feels like...strange? Like I wake up and something just feels unsettling about the whole thing? It's been I think...maybe three or four nights in a row now? And I'm just kind of worried about what it could mean. Maybe it's just my brain telling me it's time to go back for another visit,'s not started back up yet! And I only visit him during the school year, because meeting up anywhere besides the school would be weird, haha.

But still... I'm just curious. If I have another dream like that tonight, then I'll know for sure that something's up.

Skin by Hairac (modified by TheCupcake-Queen)
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AmethystTruth Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013
Well I've never had reccurring dreams or any sort of epiphany dreams before, at least nit that I remember. But they do fascinate and intrigue me. I get the majority of my ideas for my writing and some characters from dreams I've had, and I can actually still remember quite a few dreams in detail. Though actually, most things I dream nowadays are nightmares, so maybe that says something about me instead ^ ^"
But I agree with Kenny on this, go talk to the guy and get things straightened out then maybe it will all make sense!
TheGreatWarrior Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Student General Artist
Dreams have always been a fascinating thing for me. I don't have recurring dreams, mind, but some dreams I have... they're the same or very similar to ones I've had before. Those dreams I can always remember if I had them before. In fact, for those great dreams I have had, I've written them down so I can remember them because some are great ideas. I mean, I've actually used some dreams in some of my works, both art and writing, which I've realized a couple months ago I've got quite a talent for.

As for your situation, if you think that meeting your teacher will help you, then do it. With this journal, I now fully realize how this person has helped your life. I mean, I was an actor and was a part of several plays in my high school life and I took a course on acting last semester, so I understand how it feels. I still know my acting and am good at it, but I also do art because I can use both in my future career. So yeah, go meet up with your teacher and talk about life. And maybe then your dreams will cease and everything will be at peace~
AskDestroyer Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013
well weird dreams yes, one's relating anywhere to school no...))
TheCupcake-Queen Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Hahaha school dreams are never fun! And neither are work dreams for that matter! OTL ))
bluestarproduction Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well to me it seems like it might have dual means if any meaning at all. The most literal meaning I could pull from this is that you miss a person who has played a big role in your life, it's a common thing and it could be the meaning. Another meaning could be this; Your art teacher represents your art, the improvement, the growth and the flourishing that it became in your time. You might subconsciously feel separated from it, or like you haven't had time for it, and deep down that might upset you. But then again, the mind is a complex thing and dreams have different meanings for different people that we all have to figure out for our selves. I wish you luck in deciphering your dreams. - Beth
TheCupcake-Queen Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Wow!! That was really insightful! And I'd never even thought about that before! Thank you very much, it's probably one of those things, if not both, haha!! :phew: Seems like I just need to rest easy! Thank you again!
bluestarproduction Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's no problem! I've been studying dreams for a while now and it's nice to help people out with it. I'm glad I could help put your mind at ease. ^^
Oeus Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sorry- I'll get back to reading your journal but first...



TheCupcake-Queen Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
oh the names my friends and i would call that man

we've all had our vic mignogna phase
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