I think I am, anyways? Um...this might be kind of a long journal entry, so just a little heads up. And no worries; it's got nothing to do with our happy little community! But it does have a lot to do with dreams! So if that's something you're interested in, read on!
Oh, and I'd also like to remind everyone to stay professional, haha. You'll probably know what I mean as I get into this topic. I'd just like for everyone to be mature in their comments, should there be any!
When I was first in high school, I wanted to be a voice actress with all my heart. I was heavily inspired by Vic Mignogna (the golden years of my early pubescence, haha) and wanted to be just like him. I got into acting as best I could, and managed to weasel my way into a play that our school would be holding! We were going to reproduce "FAME The Musical"! And even though I didn't have any speaking parts, I was thankful enough to just be able to get a taste of the stage. I mean, I don't think many people can say that on their first try they got a lead role or anything!
However, close to our first performance, the show was cancelled. We just weren't ready. Between acting coaches, dancing coaches, and singing coaches, everyone wanted something different for the show and it just fell apart. It was hard for everyone to let it go, but we all did finally manage to. Needless to say, it put quite the damper on my experience.
Fast forward a couple of years! Thanks to my absolutely horrid grades, I spent the first two years of my high school life as a freshman. When I did finally make it into my sophomore year I found myself plopped into Art 1. At that point, my teacher was fairly new (I think he started teaching at my school during my second freshman year), so it's not like anyone could say "Oh, you got that
teacher? He's terrible!" or "Wow, you're so lucky!" Going into that art class, I had no idea what I was in for. I expected
a lackluster teacher, much like the one I had in elementary school, who obviously cared nothing about art and was just there for the paycheck. Boy was I wrong
Going into the class I was confident in my abilities. Ah, I miss those years! But at the same time, I really didn't have any reason to be confident, haha. There was something there, sure, but it was all just...just really terrible! But once this teacher started...well...teaching
us (as they often do), that's when my art took a turn for the better. And more importantly, I realized just what an amazing teacher he was. He quickly became my favorite, and at the end of the semester, I was sure to sign up for Art 2.
If I remember correctly, it was during Art 2 that I became one of those students that made excuses to go and talk to him whenever possible (and there were a lot of us). Sure I feel bad about us all practically harassing the man, but it was for a good reason. Not only was he a good teacher, but he was a good person
too. He listened to us when we talked to him, whether it was for something silly or something serious, he always heard us out. Needless to say, this art teacher and I became good friends over just a couple of short years.Now!
Here's where it gets interesting.
Let's head on over to my third art class of my high school "career." During this time, I got bitten by the acting bug once more. I tried out for a school play, yet again, but got a speaking part this time! Of course, that's not saying much, considering this wasn't a musical and pretty much all of the parts were speaking roles (of course). I was excited, and I invited as many people as I could think to!
It was during the course of preparing for the play, however, that something...odd
started to happen. In the waking world I was happy about the play, but...in a way I was rather displeased with the experience I was having.
And in my dreams? That was another story.
I started to have recurring dreams somewhere during the middle of the "production" of our play. And my art teacher was in them. Just to clarify, because I know some people are immediately thinking the worst, not those kinds of dreams
. In fact, for further clarification, I'll go ahead and tell you what all was happening!
For the first few dreams, it was just normal stuff. He wasn't even really that big of a part of them; just standing around in the background, you know? But towards the end he had a more pronounced role in them. In one dream, I remember showing him a piece of artwork that he was...vaguely impressed with. He barely even responded. So back in the waking world, I began to realize that something was up. I had never had reoccurring dreams before, but having been interested in the topic of dreams before, I knew
something was up.
I finally told one of my friends about it, and we had tried to decipher it, but nothing came to mind. I did a little bit of research, and a website told me to consider the subject
that the teacher taught. Art. My subconscious was trying to tell me something about art.
It wasn't until I had a dream that the art teacher was closing the door on me that I realized what it was. I wasn't meant to be an actor
. I was meant to be an artist! And once I had made the conscious decision to be an artist, to do that as my career, I stopped having those reoccurring dreams. To this day it has been the coolest story I've had to tell, but...I haven't really told anyone because, well... As soon as you say "I've had reoccurring dreams about my art teacher" everyone just kind of assumes the worst, haha! And, of course, I haven't told him yet because... Well he's one of my best friends and I don't want to creep him out!
Let's get back to the title of the journal, shall we? I'm worried, but I'm not sure if I should be...? Lately I've started having reoccurring dreams with my art teacher in them again. And just to be clear, I still keep in contact with him and visit him from time to time so it's not a sort of "oh man I haven't talked to him in FOREVER WHAT COULD IT MEAN" kind of thing. But I keep
having dreams about being in school, not having any of his classes, and trying in vain to go visit him after classes. Last night I had a dream that my fiance and I went to his house for dinner! But each dream feels like...strange? Like I wake up and something just feels unsettling about the whole thing? It's been I think...maybe three or four nights in a row now? And I'm just kind of worried about what it could mean. Maybe it's just my brain telling me it's time to go back for another visit, but...school's not started back up yet! And I only visit him during the school year, because meeting up anywhere besides the school would be weird, haha.
But still... I'm just curious. If I have another dream like that tonight, then I'll know for sure that something's up.